I love football!

I do not love football dvds!

Obviously that’s a generalisation, there’s some great ones, Nick Hancock naturally being top of the tree, but this more about the lower grade ones. I say that without watching them, but it’s more the sheer amount that are released nowadays. I made a little list in the build up to Christmas of al the ones I’d noticed, but I seen a new one today, and it’s made me want to publicise my list.

In the run up to Christmas there was releases from David James (Who Would Be A Goalie? Ho Ho, Jameo, probably put some of your own mistakes on, being such a bloody good bloke, hmm), Johnny Vaughan (Own Goals & Gaffes), Danny Baker (also, Own Goals & Gaffes), Danny Dyer (Football Foul Ups – Cos he’s hard, innit bruv), Adrian Chiles (With Lee Dixon! 2 Good 2 Bad : World Cup, looking at the hilarious oddities of World Cups past), John Motson (World Cup Heroes & Villains, probably more xenophobia from irritating grandad Motson).

All of them were released this year, along with Soccer AM releasing their now annual dvd, seeking out the Greatest Team In The World, I don’t mind them bringing one out as I guess they’re an actual franchise or whatever, I know it’ll be painfully bad, neither of the hosts has any charisma or fresh ideas, I wonder how many Torquay players repulsive old ‘Hells Bells’ will hilariously suggest? Still funny.

Other dvds that I found whilst thinking about it were hosted by such big and hilarious names as ; Tim Lovejoy & Jamie Redknapp, Gordon Ramsay, Rory McGrath, Alistair Mcgowan, Michael Sheen (The guy who played Clough in The Damned United), Phil fucking Daniels (Really?) Ray Winstone, Bradley Walsh and Paul Whitehouse.

What a ‘Who’s Who’ of unfunny irritants.

However, the one that I seen this week, which tops everything I can imagine. One of the best strikers, charismatic personality and all round household name.

On DVD for the first time! Surprise, Surprise!

It really does make me wonder what’s going to be out next year? Ray Wilkins Top Ten Sideways Passes? Pascal Cygan : Who’d Be A Bog Standard Centre Half? James Nesbitt’s Favourite Fifty United Screamers? Sol – From County to Cape Town, My Journey.

Anyway,

I forgot to mention it yesterday, but there’s a new Social Networking type site, where you just ask people questions, you can do it anonymously, or not.

Here’s Mine!

I don’t think I’ve posted that before, I just look like a question whore if I have. Hmm.

Finally, in yesterday’s copy of The Sun there was a guy who looked exactly like Jack, same vacant expression and everything, he tried denying it, he’s wrong.

Stoke vs Scum Scouse/Jeff/NFL Playoffs tomorrow. Good day.

Leeds Sweet Leeds

Hola!

I’ve not properly updated this since before Christmas I think, I suck once I’ve lost motivation, so I’m going to try and update this every day again, rather than just sitting around waiting for something to happen.

So yeah, I spent Christmas back home in super Carlisle. It was lovely to be back really, I’d not been home in six months and hadn’t seen any of my family or home friends in that time, so I was a bit worried it might be weird seeing everyone again, but it was just like old times really, played football the first night and poker on the Monday, genuinely like old times.

It’s great back home, nothing seems to have changed, apart from Paul becoming a registered nonce, essentially. Well, that and telling his girlfriend that he wouldn’t pay for sex with her. Fair point, I wouldn’t either.

Obviously seeing the family was nice, my sister/her boyfriend were only over for a couple of days, as she’s a nurse so doesn’t really get much time off, but they brought their cat over whilst they were here, which was nice, she was a bit moody at first, but is lovely, she reminds me of one of our old cats. We have a new dog at home too, Tara, she’s about eighteen months old, I think, but she looks a bit younger as she was neglected (not by us!) before my parents got her, she’s quite sweet but seems really shy at the moment. It was weird going home and not having Maddie there.

Ste came down here for a couple of days after New Year and stuff, we hit Slam Dunk up, it was pretty shocking really. Robot Rock next time at Hifi.

It’s nice being back in Leeds, in a way, I need a job ASAP though, or some unemployed friends, I hate just sitting around with no one to talk to, still, sign on day tomorrow, how exciting!

Great Track(/s)!

Plus, Newspapers are amazing.

Thierry Henry

Is a twat.

I can’t even really be bothered with getting too into last night, Henry is a twat now and always has been really.

The entire reaction to it was probably worse than the crime, Ireland were embarrassing, Blatter was embarrassing and Henry was the same, going through the Three Rs of saving face, Retirement (Or, threatening it at least), Referee (Admitting it afterwards and complaining the referee should have been stronger) and finally going for Replay, saying that that was the only fair solution.

Luckily, most people seen through it, ignored anything he had to say on the matter and stuck to their guns about him, annoyingly it’s taken ten years for people to notice, still, better late than never.

I could say the same about this blog, I just noticed it in my Drafts, so figured I might as well post it.

My favourite Things of 2009!

SONGS!

BEST

GOOD

BLAST FROM THE PAST

Gaga rinsed 2009. What a woman/geezer, all her singles have been good, Bad Romance is the best single I’ve heard in a long long time, Poker Face was great, and the others were all good.I still can’t get over her being allowed a cow in her videos though.

I must have forgotten shit loads of good pop music from this year, sozz. Might edit this when I’ve got good internet!

TV SHOWS

I only got round to checking out ‘It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia’ this year, and it’s now probably my favourite show ever, it got great from series two onwards really, four and five have been the best though, DeVito seems like he might be an actual mental case. All the cast play it incredibly well, seems very natural, and dialogue is all important, they’ve got it nailed.

I only watched The Inbetweeners for the first time this year too, and was incredibly surprised by it, obviously I ignored everyone telling me I’d like it, and figured it’s teenagers and on Channel 4, it’s got to be shit, surely. Wrong-o! Again, fantastic dialogue, decent actors despite being about ten years too old, irrelevant really. Really really good.

The Thick Of It series 2 (fuck your specials) was amazing, Malcolm Tucker’s such a geezer, clearly a cunt, but, cracking bloke with it.

The man from Hell Monte, he say, fucking ayeee.

Not that many people seem to watch it, they really should, balls to descriptions about politics/satire/dark comedy, it’s just funny and entertaining.

Looking at my list, it appears I’m more juvenile than I ever realised, swear words put together well? I’m a fan!

Struggling to think what else was great, Lost Series 5! Fantastic drama as ever, I can’t even remember too much what happened, but the recap shows will help out. I’d love to redownload some, but not enough memory space/good enough internet.

Curb had a new series, it’s best yet! Not too much Leon, loads of Seinfeld, pretty much perfect, a bit ‘concepty’ but very enjoyable, the Jerry and Larry interactions were very natural, and funny, which is what Curb should be.

I watched all of How I Met Your Mother in a few days, I really enjoyed it, even if the general concept is a bit annoying, I like the cast, and it’s pretty simple, so very easy to watch a good few episodes in a row.

I’ll re edit this later with other good things! What other categories is there, SPORT? FOOTBALL? ALBUMS?

What were your favourite things of 2009?

Ho Ho Ho!

What better way to spend Christmas Eve? Out drinking with friends?  Nah, racking my brain to think of big things that happened in 2009

Barca Winning the Champs League!

However, Chelsea lose Champions League Semi Final

Roger Wins Wimbledon Again!

Rafa Couldn’t Defend His Title

Carlisle Stayed Up!

Leeds Stayed Down!

Ronaldo fucked off!

Kaka Went Too

Great bloke was a great bloke

Sinfield gave one of the best post match interviews ever

Sinfield, Geezer

So yeah, that’s some stuff, big, from this year.

Merry Christmas!

Track of the day! Byron’s 24th Christmas isn’t on youtube so Mariah will do!

FM Update!

Denilson ended up playing more than Fellaini, and I ended up walking the league, winning the Portuguese Cup and getting to the Champs League semi finals, after beating Man Utd and Liverpool in the first knock out rounds, before being rolled over 5-0 on aggregate by Barcelona. I suffered a 7-2 defeat to Sporting Lisbon after sticking to my ‘no goalie on the bench’ rule, I also found a great striker, I can’t remember his name, but he came in for Lima and finished top scorer despite only playing half the season.

True to my word, I resigned at Porto at the end of the season, with the hope of hopping around the continent, however, no-one good got rid of their manager, my reputation was set at World Class, but I just kept getting offered the Watford/Sheffield United/Hull/Bolton (all Championship clubs) jobs, there was no way of turning them into Premier League winners in a few years, so I stuck to my guns and rode it out, next summer is bound to bring some big changes in, right?

Wrong!

Inter once again had Mancini hanging on, being Very Insecure for a long time, before deciding to stick with him, I got offered a number of rubbish at best jobs and stuck to my guns, but getting eager to play. Eventually a job came along I liked the look of, a reasonably big club, offering a fairly big amount for transfers (£13million) with a long contract and in a good country (Spain), surely there’s no catch, I’ll take it.

Athletic Bilbao

To those as ignorant as me, it’s worth pointing out that Bilbao can only sign Basque players. Hmm. After taking a quick look at my squad and what I needed, I eyed up which were the best Basque players I could get. Manuel Almunia was the top player available. See ya, Basque Land.

Back to the job hunt, and still nothing, when a club I’ve never even heard of came in for me, their media prediction is to finish 5th in the Ukraine top league, and, crucially they’re called Chornomorets Odesa. Odessa! I’m Billy Bob Thornton, I’m Coach Gary Gaines, give me Booby Miles and the title is ours! Well, State, if not the national title.

Their team is reasonable, there’s not much money and I’ve took over the day of the first game, so not much time to plan anything. I’m aiming to win the title by the end of my third season.

Great Tracks

Ah, there’s a new Social Networking thing, where you can ask questions anonymously. Here’s mine

Byron FormSpring

FM Restart!

So yeah, like an idiot when I started my Porto game I forgot to put Spain & Italy as playable leagues. Which annoyed me, and made it a bit pointless, so I’ve restarted at Porto but now I’ve got England, Portugal, Spain, Italy, Germany, Ukraine to move between, I’m going to move after every title win too, keep it fresh.

I’m going to set myself mini targets too, well, just how long I plan being at each club, like, with Porto having a good squad and I’ve been able to develop it quite well with my signings, I expect to win the title in the first year. Whereas if my next club is say Ateltico, I’d say a title would take two or three years.

The first transfer window has just closed, and I’ve made similar signings to my original game, I’ve brought in Carlos Vela, Leandro Lima, Felipe (A LWB, not the great Udinese guy), Marouane Fellaini, Patricio Araujo, Luka Modric, Andres Guardado, Juliano Bozzano (my good scout properly recommended him but he looks rubbish) and James McFadden (probably not the wisest move, cost £9million, but like I said, I only expect to be here for one year and wanted another forward option).

I’ve only had one league game, which I won comfortably and also won the Portugese Charity Shield, pre season was boring, just left the fixtures that were already set up, so had an exciting tour of Israel.

My starting line up at the moment is

Heilton

Bosingwa Pepe Araujo Guardado

Modric Anderson Fellaini Queresma

Vela Lima

I’ll probably but Mcfadden in for Fellaini soon (moving Modric into the centre).

How interesting.

Stuff For Sale (Part Two)

Word, I’ve got a load of cds I no longer listen to/for sale! Roughly £3 each (some more/some less)

!!! – Louden up Now
Andrew WK – I Get Wet
Andy, Glenn And Ritch – Escape From The Bastille
At The Drive In – Relationship Of Command
The Beatles – Anthology
Belle & Sebastian – Dear Catastrophe Waitress
Belle & Sebastian – Push Barman To Open Old Wounds
Ben Folds Five – S/ted
Beth Orton – Central Reservation
Bloc Party – A Weekend In The City
Blur – Parklife
Blur – Think Tank
The Bombjacks – Batteries Not Included
The Bombjacks – Midnight Picture Show
Chaser – Best Seat In The House
The City On Film – I’d Rather Be Wine Drunk
The City On Film – In Formal Introduction
Clayhill – Acoustic/Tour EP
Clayhill – Small Circle
Coldplay – A Rush Of Blood To The Head
Coldplay – Parachutes
Ctrl Alt Delete – EP
The Coral – Invisible Invasion
Dave House – Kingston’s Current
Dave House – See That No-one Else Escapes
Defiance Ohio – The Fear, The Fear, The Fear
Deftones – S/ted
Denver Harbor – Scenic
Don Ramos Players – S/ted
Dugong – Quick To The City
Elliott Smith – S/ted
Elvis Presley – Elvis 30 #1 Hits
Fenix TX – Lechuza
Four Tet – Everything Ecstatic
Four Tet – Rounds
From Autumn To Ashes – Too Bad You’re Beautiful
The Futureheads – s/ted (cd/dvd)
Get Cape Wear Cape Fly – EP
The Get Up Kids – Eudora
The Get Up Kids – Red Letter Day
The Go! Team – Thunder, Lightning, Strike
Graham Coxon – Happiness In Magazines
Green Day – International Superhits
Help She Can’t Swim – Fashionista Super Dance Troupe
Jerry Built – Upstarts
The Jesus Years – Are Matthew, Mark, Luke and John
Jimmy Eat World – The Singles
Joy Division – Substance
Kanye West – Late Orchestration
Knockout – Driven To Distraction
Jolly Not So – To Fear The Past, To Losing The Present, To Have No Future
Less Than Jake – Hello Rockview/Losing Streak
The Magnetic Fields – 69 Love Songs
The Maple State – At Least Until We’ve Settled In
The Mars Volta – Deloused In The Comatorium
MC Lars – The Laptop EP
Mcfly – Room On The Third Floor
The Movelife – Forty Hour Train Back To Penn
My Awesome Compilation – Actions
My Awesome Compilation – Every Souvenir Has A Story
My Awesome Compilation – The View Is Amazing
My Favourite Co-Pilot – When All Your Hopes Fall
Nathan Fake – Drowning In A Sea Of Love
The Neptunes – Present Clones
No Coply – With Windmills Turning Wrong Directions
Not Katies – At Every Turn
Not Katies – Repeat Repeat
Over It – Silverstrand
Over It – Timing Is Everything
Paramore – Riot!
Route 215 – Steal Your Soul With Rock And Roll
Route 215 & Captain Everything – Make The Love Connection
Rufio – 1985
Rufio – Perhaps, I Suppose
Second To The Last – On The Bear Valley Trail
Shortcut To Newark – Heads In Hands : Hearts In Half
Sigur Ros – Takk
Go Simpsonic With The Simpsons
Slick Shoes & Cooter – Split
The Smiths – The Queen Is Dead
Smoosh – She Like Electric
Something Corporate – Fillmore Theatre (£30/OFFERS)
Something Corporate – North
Sonic Boom Six – Sounds To Consume
Statistics – Leave Your Name
Statistics – S/ted
The Snake The Cross The Crown – Mander Salis
Something Corporate – Leaving Through The Window
The Streets – A Grand Don’t Come For Free
The Streets – Original Pirate Material
The All New Adventures Of Us (TANAOU) – Primary Colours EP
Thursday – Five Stories Falling
Thursday – War All The Time
Tokyo Adventures – The Hunter’s Handbook
Tomorrow Never Came – Face In A Photograph
Travis – The Man Who
Ultimate Fakebook – Before We Spark
Ultimate Fakebook – Open Up And Say Awesome
The Vandals – Look What I Almost Stepped In
Vanilla Sky – Waiting For Something
V/a -Anti Folk Volume 1
V/a – Punk Goes Acoustic
V/a – Punktastic Unscene 1
V/a – The Smiths Songs By – How Soon Is Now
The Verve – This Is Music: The Singles 92-98
Volcano, I’m Still Excited – s/ted
Willy Mason – Hard Hand To Hold EP
Willy Mason – Where The Humans Eat
The WWF Superstars – Slam Jam

DVDS

Belle And Sebastian – Fans Only (£8)
Planet Earth (£10)
Live Aid (£10)
Columbo – The Complete First Season (£5)
Mad Men Series One (£10)
The Office: Season Two (American Office) (£7)
The US Office : Season One (£4)
WWE – From The Vault: Shawn Michaels (£8)
Blink 182 – The Urethra Chronicles / The Urethra Chronicles 2 (£3 each or both for £5)
Forrest Gump (2 Disc Special Collector’s Edition) (£3)
Toy Story (£5)
Toy Story 2 (£5)
King Of The Hill, Series One (£5) and Series Two (£6) or both for £10.
Peep Show – Series One (Original Cover/Artwork) (£6)
Thank You For Smoking (£3)
Falling Down (£3)
Full Metal Jacket (£3)
Totally Bill Hicks (£7)

Tee’s! All £6 inc postage, offers more than welcome!

Abathing Ape (Black Ape Shall Never Kill Ape) L
Armor For Sleep (Black, What To Do When You Are Dead design) XL
Clayhill (Light blue Small Circle design) L
The Futureheads (Royal Blue Robot Design) XL
The Get Up Kids (Red with white writing- Rollerskate, Summer League 1981) XL
The Get Up Kids (Green with white writing – Band Camp) L
Glassjaw (Navy with yellow GJ) L
The Go! Team (Yellow with Red Go Team! Design) XL
Head Automatica (Black with bright/multicoloured design, Shirt For A Cure/80’s Eyes Design) XL
Jerry Built (Navy with Yellow writing, Upstarts) XL
Jimmy Eat World (Black, Nintendo Pad Tour Design) L
Lost On Campus (Orange with white writing lost on cam pus design) XL
No Comply (Black with white writing/picture) XL
Punktastic – Selling Out In Style (Black with pink writing) L
Punktastic – Selling Out In Style (Light blue with red writing) L I think there was only three of these made.
Second To Last (Black with brown writing, If It Moves Kill Them design) M
Skirtbox (lightblue with yellow writing) L
Taking Back Sunday (Black, Arrow design) XL

PM me or email me at splashturntwist@gmail.com Paypal/Cheque/Postal Order/Concealed Cash accepted!

Obviously open to offers.

Ta!

World Cup!

Draw incredibly soon! I properly can’t wait.

Here’s the draw I’m hoping for..

A England, Algeria, North Korea, Greece

B South Africa, Paraguay, South Korea, Switzerland

C Holland, Nigeria, Honduras, Denmark

D Italy, Chile, New Zealand, Slovenia

E Spain, Ghana, USA, France

F Germany, Uruguay, Mexico, Slovakia

G Brazil, Cameroon, Japan, Serbia

H Argentina, Ivory Coast, Australia, Portugal

Unless I’ve mucked up seedings/continents.

New FM!

Is there a more exciting title in the world than me declaring I’ve started a new game on Football Manager?

I’ve started out as Porto!

They’ve got a pretty good team, with Lopez, Anderson, Pepe, Quaresma, Lucho Gonzalez, which I’ve boosted by bringing in Vela, Leandro Lima Sagna and Fellaini. Got a few more players I want to bring in, but they can only go through if I bring in some money. So, I’ll see.

I’m expecting to win the league, my team’s pretty strong overall and I’ve just spent a fair whack on boosting my coaches, I just can’t imagine anyone having as strong of a team with as good staff in Portugal, I’ve not looked at Benfica/Sporting Lisbon too much.

My plan at the moment is to try and win the league in every country I’ve selected (Portugal/Belgium/England/Spain/Italy/Ukraine), no set order in mind, but I just want a game where I can move around, and not getting set anywhere special, well, not until I’ve won the title in all of those anyway.

I only included Ukraine as Dan’s recently started a game as Shaktar on FM10 and it sounds pretty good so have followed his lead I guess. It sounds pretty easy to win over there too.

NFL tonight! Not too fussed about Bills or Jets, but I expect Jets to take it, as they’re just better, shouldn’t be a great game but definitely worth watching. I can’t wait for Sunday and Dallas v Giants. Annoyingly we always lose to NY Giants, but they’ve looked awful recently, so defeat would be all the worse.

World Cup Draw tomorrow! I’m going to have a proper look later/tomorrow and decide who I want. England should get through whoever, having had a brief look.

Round round. Great track.